A dropped story of mine..

Tell your stories of everyday life in Runescape or even make up one! Or write a poem for us!
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AaronDivine
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A dropped story of mine..

Post by AaronDivine » Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:43 pm

Here I stand alone in the middle of the schoolyard... Everyone is separated in small groups of a maximum of 5 to 6 people. The girls apart, the guys apart... The jocks apart from the so-called nerds... The musicians have their own corner and the goths just smoke and stare into nothingness. It's pretty funny how the goths think they know what life is all about, but they're wrong... They're simple people who just gave up on life and are to scared of Death. They do care and love the world as anyone else, but they do see what a chaos we live in.

The moment I try to turn and walk back towards the entrance of the school, a girl bumped into me. She was pretty attractive and probably around my age. I stared at her silently, while she looked at me with an angry face. She didn't say anything at all, and kept staring back at me with a fierce look - she probably expected me to say sorry. Tch, tough luck, it's not my fault you bumped into me. My lips curled and my brown eyes shone as her pretty face began to stretch and cast a mean look at me.

"Aren't you supposed to say something?" She spoke the words with a lot of menace.

I remained silent and kept smiling, waiting what she will do.
No one really cared about me nor talked to me, I was an outsider among every club there is, even the geeks don't talk to me. My face scares many girls away, so I've never had a girlfriend before. My only friend whom I've only known for 2 months, has left the school and the city... So I'm pretty much amused to have this girl talk to me, while her fear is overwhelmed by anger of my not-caring attitude. She probably never met a guy that didn't do everything for her, except for me.

"Ah! I get it! You're just shy!" The girl's angry face turned into a shallow smile.

This is nothing what I've expected... I've never had such a response to my behavior.

"W-what? You must be mistaken, I-I'm not shy!" I stuttered, which is actually not that smart, as she just called me shy and this only strengthens her assumption.

"Awww, that's really cute! Look at your face being all red!" She planted a kiss on my right cheek.

I suddenly got dizzy, this reaction is not normal, at all! Doesn't she understand that I'm not interested? Or is she making fun of me? Is this her punishment for not saying anything?

"You've gotten even redder! Hahaha! You're really cute! What's your name?" She was smiling broadly and her green eyes were staring at me hopefully and innocently.

"N-none of your business." I tried to walk past her towards the entrance of the school.

But as soon as I passed her she clung to my right arm and tried to pull me back, she wasn't really that strong, though.

"Please don't go! I'm just teasing you, I didn't mean to insult you!" She was on the verge of crying, I could hear it in the tone she was talking with.

Why is she trying so hard to make me stay? As I looked around me, a lot of people stopped talking and were watching us. I don't blame them, she's almost crying and we are in the middle of the schoolyard, anyone would draw attention if they did stand on this spot, except me.

A lot of whispers reached my ears, a lot of them were about me, some never even saw me and were brainstorming who I was and what I was doing with such a "hot" girl clinging to my arm. Others were just jealous of me and called me a show-off, while the girly drama-queens were whispering gossips that I did it with her and I never want to see her again.

I sighed and turned towards her. "What do you want from me? Are you trying to make fun of me?" I stared at her face and noticed her eyes almost fill with tears.

"I'm not trying to make fun of you! I only wanted to make you feel less nervous about talking to me!" A tear slipped over her cheek down to her chin.

"I'm not nervous... I'm just not interested." I said as calmly as I could and didn't lose eye-contact. The tear dropped from her chin, towards the ground.

Before the tear reached the ground, she was already running away into the school, I just stood there looking after her, clenching my fist. My head filled with the whispering voices around me, only to be broken by the sound of the bell, marking the end of the recess.


----

Just something I worked on a few years ago. I'm not planning on continuing it, I was just trying out the first person writing style for a bit.

Feel free to post feedback. Things that could've been better, or whatever.
~A moment's diversion may amuse an audience, but it changes nothing.
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Slim_Shady
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Re: A dropped story of mine..

Post by Slim_Shady » Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:45 pm

Ehhh it's alright. I'll give it a 5/10. Honestly I think the intro is hella boring but the dialogue is really good. If the intro was shorter and sweet, this could easily earn an 8.
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AaronDivine
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Re: A dropped story of mine..

Post by AaronDivine » Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:47 pm

Hmm, why? Did it drag on too long? Did it bore you out in the middle? Or is it just not your type of book to read?

More in-depth, please. >_>
~A moment's diversion may amuse an audience, but it changes nothing.
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Bally
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Re: A dropped story of mine..

Post by Bally » Mon Apr 11, 2011 7:33 pm

i only read dialouge the dialouge i would give 8/10 it's good and i felt like i was the boy lol.
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